Forgiveness
Is a funny thing.
It’s funny because most of the time I am forgiving people, when now I need forgiveness.
And to be honest, it frightens me that some people may not have the same grace that I have.
I’ll forgive someone as many times as they apologize.
But for some reason I feel like I won’t be granted the same forgiveness.
It’s funny how the most unexpected people make you realize the most important things.
It’s only a mistake if you learn from it.
And boy have I learned a lot.
You can never reverse or go back in time. You can only control what happens from here forth.
Today was an interesting day.
Today, I made a lot of decisions.
Also, today I started talking to an old flame.
And when I say old… I mean OLD.
This boy and I go back to the seventh grade.
Barely thirteen. Barely ready.
Honestly, though, it’s so pathetic. We started talking about just how much we really did have a pretty genuine relationship. That boy and I used to talk for hours upon HOURS on the phone. I started wondering today what the hell we could have been talking about for so long.
But it was everything, it was nothing. It was everything in between.
I can’t remember the last time that I clicked with someone so much. There was something so beautiful about how innocent it was. Long hugs goodbye, too shy to kiss goodnight.
I was thirteen. Thirteen.
Seven years have gone by. My teenage years have been left in the dust.
Things just aren’t like that for me anymore. & For some reason, I just can’t figure out why.
Maybe it’s society. Maybe it’s me. Maybe it’s them.
I guess I’ll never know. Still, I find it rather pathetic that the most meaningful relationship I’ve ever had was one that found me when I was so young.
Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever find that again.
My, oh my…. how much things really change.
Just A Feeling
I am not happy with any of the decisions I’ve made lately. Literally, not a single one. Thank God spring break is Friday. I need to clear my head.
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